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Very common question from parents. The most simple is, whatever your child will use. If he/she likes the bubblegum flavor or a very specific brand then go with that. No need to force or fight with them on this, anyone with a toddler knows how picky they can be. This is not a hill you need to die on. Any of the brands available will be effective as long as proper brushing is performed.
It is recommended a pea sized amount for toddlers, many toddlers have an aversion to too much toothpaste and the foam that it creates. Good news is less is more in these cases. Proper debridement can be achieved with very little toothpaste. If your kiddo is refusing toothpaste try using less. If they still refuse it then change the brand or flavor.
While it is recommended to teach them how to brush and to give them autonomy sometimes, toddlers do not possess the manual dexterity to properly brush themselves. Having your toddler show you how they do it, then asking them if you can show them how you do it (to them) and finishing the job is a very effective method.
This is debated, while 2 minutes is the gold standard for an adult brushing their teeth, most of the time a toddlers teeth can be effectively debrided much quicker. The goal here is two fold, we want to effectively brush while also not turning the event into something the toddler despises. Two minutes of brushing a toddler will seem like an eternity. Hitting every surface of the teeth is all that matters.
Absolutely not, every new tooth is a fresh start. Changing familial habits is the number one thing here. If you struggle with cavities then a personal reflection as to why is needed. Translate these changes to your children and they will not be cursed to poor dental health. Also, mom or dad have "bad teeth" then reducing the sharing of utensils and mouth kissing is extremely important as bacteria is always transferred during these events.
The hard answer here is never. Fruit juices and soft drinks offer 0 nutritional value and will always be a net negative to your Childs dental and overall health. Juices have high concentrations of sugar and will prime your Childs palate to crave sugar in all forms. Never introducing these things to your child is the best way to make sure they never want them. Remember you are in control of everything your child ingests.
Setting strong boundaries with caretakers and family is also very important in this matter. Have these conversations with anyone who cares for your child and refuse wiggle room. This may cause some uncomfortable situations but the health of your child is more important than anything else. Milk formula or water is all that any child needs to thrive in life. This is a good time to reduce your own personal intake as well.
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